First snow!

I have been dreading the beginning of snowy weather in Iowa. I know, I'm from here, I should be used to it--how does someone get used to being freezing cold and having to stand out in gale winds scraping their windshields? Of course, the weather has not been this severe yet this year, so I count myself lucky. As a native Midwesterner, I know how to layer for warmth. Before going to the park this afternoon when it was a balmy 17 degrees, I put on several layers, only forgetting really warm socks. I took my puppy for a quick frolic in the snow. Usually we are one of the first footprints but today several others had been running around our field before us. Well, I guess I can get my Wellies, scarves, earmuffs, multiple gloves, and wool coat ready because this winter is supposed to be a rough one. As long as I have my puppy by my side with snow all over her face, I'll keep laughing and running around like a kid in the snow.

Turkey Time!

So I love Thanksgiving and eating turkey. In this crazy holiday season, I like starting with calm--the nap on the couch after the turkey kicks in--before the huge storm of the Christmas Season--3 AM store openings on Black Friday. I'm not going to be philosophical, except to suggest that I want to think differently about ourselves/time as gifts, over the latest gadget from Best Buy.

Maybe I'm just getting older, but as much as I love seeing presents under the Christmas tree, I love getting together with friends and family a lot more. Gifts are soon forgotten after the frenzy of tearing through the paper, but memories take a little more to be gone forever. By looking at old journals, pictures, and reminiscing, I talk about the past in terms of experiences shared with loved ones, not always remembering what I had unwrapped that year. Maybe my liberal philosophy is transfering over to more aspects of my life as the economy still seems to be less than sturdy. Or, maybe this is a fancy way of writing that "There's no money, honey" for gifts this year (I am a grad student after-all). I don't know for sure yet. As a gift to myself, I'm going to allow myself to make a more conscious effort this holiday season to experience more fully my surroundings and to enjoy its offerings.

Being a writer

Before this class started, I don't know that I would have classified myself as a writer if asked. I looked through my old school memory binders with report cards, projects, pictures, and assignments. I was surprised to find several items that I had written from different times in my schooling. Even though some of it is 15+ years old, I still feel some sort of connection to what is on the page--I recognize it as mine. It is kind of weird because I obviously have become a more sophisticated writer since third grade, but the voice remains. I only remember writing one paper in elementary school that didn't feel like "mine" and it bothers me to this day. I can't find it, but remember reading it aloud to my fifth grade class and not totally recognizing the words coming out of my mouth as my own. Interesting and humbling. I guess I now consider myself a writer and it isn't because I just started, but because I've been doing it and making meaning from words for so long. I have continued to write in school and home for different reasons and think I always will. I can't imagine going a day without making some sort of scribble on scratch paper, etc. I'd like to meet someone who says they don't write and see what exactly that means.

I Am from a Family of Characters

I am from finding eyeballs and hearts in my garage.
I am from long innings on scorching hot days,
coolers full of pop after softball game—win or lose.
I am from a strong father who gives unending support,
Laughs, and a strong desire to protect our environment.


I am from warm, handmade quilts lovingly made by my mom
to keep out freezing Iowa winters
until it is shorts at 60 degrees!
I am from a sense of adventure and travels—
long summer car rides,
even longer plane rides to new continents.
I am from a laugh so hard you can’t hear it,
a cough that is recognizable anywhere,
and a person always in my corner.


I am from having a constant
companion in my twin (non-identical) brother.
I am from grueling walks to school, next-door lockers,
fights over the computer, and shared minivans.
I am from a strong bond with my childhood’s closest friend.


I am from a land of stuffed animals—
Muffin and Stephanie thrown up into the ceiling fan
Only to fly into the wall with a thud and shriek!
I am from Saturday morning squabbles in a
shared bedroom full of conflicting ideas.
I am from a love of being camp counselors, reveling in nature, raids,
Crazy Sally, the Dance Hall Cave, and the ‘OOL.
I am from a shared love between sisters.


I am from a family combining dark rich soil in Iowa
With the gritty streets of Chicago.
I am from a family with strong roots and pride of heritage--
whether making kolaches, lefse, visiting the farm,
or grabbing nosebleed seats to cheer on our favorite White Sox.
I am from a family full of love—
in the form of hugs, long distance phone calls,
teasing, Family Death Matches,
sloppy doggie kisses, and a promise to see each other soon,
always ending with “I love you.”

I forgot to mention before that this is for autobiography assignment in Teaching Writing Methods. I wrote it to sum it all up without being another 10 page piece!

Grammar?

So there is something about grammar that gets all of us riled up in one way or another. While reading the Schuster book this week, I kept thinking to myself how silly some of these mythrules and arguments can be.

I have to admit that I hate receiving communication from anyone above me (professor, supervisor) that is incorrectly articulated.

I HATE READING THINGS IN ALL CAPS AND FEEL ANGRY AFTERWARDS.

I also hte whan their are so meny rong werds that I haf to decode be4 enythng lse.

I don't mean to be a snob, but to me, language is important and we need to use it correctly to fit the situation. There are really lots of places that grammar runs rampant-- I seen, get me some, hafta, and lol--and sometimes I just have to walk away before I want to tear my hair out.

Our brains are so busy and a hot mess of language and knowledge. I can't imagine trying to figure out how to learn to speak/write English without any sort of background. There are so many different rules and exceptions.

The Williams article was very short but informative. I didn't realize our language was so much of a hodgepodge of Anglo-Saxon, French, Latin, native English, and Greek. Very interesting and it explains how some of the french words I know sound errily familiar to English. The sneaky French didn't steal it, we did! Mon dieu! This just reminds me how young our country is and how other countries have been at it a lot longer, creating societies and languages. Interesting stuff and it only makes grammar that much more complex and frustrating at times.

Time crunch!

I don't know about anyone else, but this seems to be the time of the semester when everything is due! Needless to say, I am quite stressed and full of chocolate! I am also carting around an IV bag full of Diet Pepsi to keep my eyes open and brain focused. In my state of craziness this morning as I left for Iowa City, it would seem I saved my memoir on my computer, instead of my flashdrive. Yes, ever the revisionist, I wanted to give it another once over before submitting it for class. Hmm...it would seem that I have set myself up for a stressful couple of hours. I'm depending on the quickness of e-mail and a friend with access to my computer, but it isn't looking good. Wish me luck and speed of everything! See everyone in class this evening.

Sharing personal writing is intimidating

As a way of getting some input about my memoir, took a copy of it to work and had a couple people read and comment on it. It was harder to hand over than I thought it would be! I know and trust the people, but still had doubt in the back of my mind. It's like when we talked in class about students not knowing if their writing is good unless the teacher tells them it is with a good grade.

Maybe it is a little different for me as I am not an English major, so I've done less sharing of my writing in the past, but I felt like a little kid! It seemed like their readings took so long and I thought that maybe they were trying to think of something nice to say, etc. In actuality, I pretty much know my own writing so well I can quickly scan for certain parts in a matter of seconds. These readers were taking time to really read the piece. I liked that the one reader had food in front of her, but she wanted to finish reading before she started to eat. That made me feel like it must have been compelling enough for her Charlie's to get cold!

I asked them what I could change and they both mentioned the sequencing, which is what I have been having trouble with the last couple of weeks. The one said that the piece definitely had my voice and that she would have guessed I'd written it if it didn't have a name on it. Hooray! I can't believe we are turning in a "final" draft next week--I could keep working on this memoir for the rest of the year easily.

I was struck by comment in Thomas Newkirk’s book, Holding on to Good Ideas in a Time of Bad Ones, that made me pause.

We can similarly project our teacher fantasies
of self-importnace and sacrifice and fail to
decenter; consequently, we ignore, reject, fail
to acknowledge the natural resistances and divided
loyalties to students, the inescapable fact that,
except in unusual cases, we are not as central in
their lives as they are in ours (Newkirk, 2007, pp. 160).

Wow. That has a lot of power because being a teacher is such an important job with so many things to accomplish outside of the regular school hours. Is it really necessary to do everything? Students know a good teacher by their methods and sincerity—not by the quickness of papers handed back or elaborate bulletin boards. I’m not proposing we stop doing these things, but that we re-evaluate the time we spend working to help our students actually learn and grow. Being a burned out teacher after five years will not benefit future students.

I am learning to pace myself and create separation from work and home life (I didn’t have much of a home life previously). A recharged teacher is better able to nurture students and lead them towards new experiences and opportunities. Even teachers deserve the weekend off!

Schooling, standardization, women, and lowered educational prospects in the late 1900's

The book Rethinking Rubrics in Writing Assessment by Maja Wilson really opened my eyes to the reasoning behind how our current standardized assessment began. The first couple chapters really helped my understanding of how the educational system really worked back during the industrial revolution. Since I have only known modern schooling personally, it is hard to remember back to a time in history when only rich and priviledged males attended school.

Pre-industrial revolution, assessment was used as a tool to help writers hone their craft. Now, masses of people poured into the cities, quickly raising the attendance at schools. Because of this new surge of students, teachers needed a way to measure mental "power" in an easier format for grading and ranking capabilities. It is interesting to think that a respected learning institution like Harvard would be at the forefront of creating standardized assessment over processes of learning and student discovery.

I was also shocked that "women's colleges had argued powerfully for standardized tests. If each student were judged by educational ability--not by wealth, not by gender, not by family connection--women's struggle for equality would make remarkable headway" (Wilson, 2006). This observation from the late 1900's almost seems like too much and screams of treacherous agendas! I find it interesting that when things start to run amuck, many times it is the females and minorities shouldering the brunt of the blame (when they were never in charge of making decisions about important topics anyway).

One of the portfolios we looked at for class was by Jason Ceynar from Bonnie Sunstein's The Portfolio Standard (Heinemann, Portsmouth, NH: 2000). He wrote about always writing to impress a teacher or to sounds scholarly.

He wrote:
I can't even remember what the paper is about.
I didn't want to reread it because I was afraid
that I'd discover I was given the A unjustly.
This paper represents my tendency to value the
grade I get on a paper mroe than the content of
the paper and the learning that I achieve through
the process of writing it (227).

Wow, I totally understand what he is talking about! I think we have all started papers with a mindset of finishing, doing little revisions, and submitting asap. I know I have "held my breath" before submitting papers with last minute doubts as to its quality or purpose. But, I know that I have done this with nonacademic writing before, too.

I have kept a journal for years, ever since my first diary back in 3rd grade. Looking back at my journal entries, even from a year ago, can be surprising. Even though I don't share my journals with others, I sometimes think I sound like I'm trying to impress someone. Who would this unknown audience be? Am I concerned about writing my true feelings down because someone might find it and read it (like when I was younger and felt a need to lock my diary)? I guess age and time has made me more aware of how powerful writing can be. I can remember certain experiences better after reading journal entries--the words have meaning behind them that help me remember. Not everything I have written is gradeable, but different formats have definitely had their reasons for being important. I will continue to write, not only for scholarly purposes, but also for me so I can continue to remember where I came from.

Paradigms are shifting!

Like many of you, love fun words. To me, using them seems like some sort of small pleasure in my day. I don't really tell anyone I get a little giggle inside everytime I use one of these words, but they probably wouldn't understand like a group of writers would. I first discovered the word paradigm back in freshman year at Wartburg during a Humanities-type required class. This concept was hard for me to grasp then, but I have been a part of my own paradigm shifting ever since. Thomas Kuhn wasn't interested in slow changes (The Winds of Change, Maxine Hairston, 1982). Instead he was passionate about using theory and practicality together to create science solutions to ongoing problems. Ignoring there is a problem doesn't get the work done, leaving thinking static.

There are certain things I strongly believe about teaching, but I can never say it will stay the same forever--my philosophy has changed from "textbook" teaching in college to "real" teaching in a third grade classroom of my own. Kids don't want to hear about what I believe, they want to know how to use the manipulatives to make a quadrilateral or if spelling is really important on the assignment. As my philosophy of teaching paradigm continually shifts, I have to be careful not to simply throw out the old thoughts/methods as outdated. Instead, I have to reflect and research to keep my teaching current for the students in my classroom. Maybe my being an outsider by doing lots of read alouds and writing with students, instead of test prep, will help someone else consider their practices. There will always be new methods in teaching, but what is popular at the time isn't always best if it works against my beliefs about an aspect of teaching.

Closing thought: Hairston posed crucial questions
eternally plaguing writing teachers--
What is the basic flaw in the traditional paradigm for teaching writing? Why doesn't it work?
(and I would add) How do we change writing for students to make it more neccessary for them?

Building a community of writers!

I think that being able to share and help classmates with their writing is an amazing exercise in trust. No one wants to be considered a weirdo or "bad writer." After all of the time we spend writing our masterpieces, the next step seems to be one of sharing! One of the things I strongly believe is from my experiences teaching elementary kids. Kids, like adults, want an audience--it gives their writing more meaning and purpose. You are right that there has to be a high level of communication and trust between writers. When kids feel a part of a writing community, so many things can happen. I love reading kids' creative writing, either by themselves or in groups. You can really start to see the wheels turning and confidence building in their chest as they successfully create meaning together.

Approaches to Writing

I have been reading and writing ever since I was a little girl. I always had a diary, wrote notes to friends, and began epic novels on my old Macintosh Classic. I have struggled with helping students discover their voice in their writing and am hoping to learn more this term. I liked the energy from class on Monday, it seemed to be a buzz with good work and dedicated writers. In all of my classes we always talk about how much we teach literacy, but never give students a chance to read or write in class. I liked that we did just that, we discussed, wrote, discussed, and began developing new ideas for our drafts. Friends have been telling me for the last several years that I should write a book and maybe this class will help motivate me enough to actively find time and energy to write my book! Here's to a class full of exploring the art and craft of writing, metacognitive viewing of writing, and real strategies for the classroom.