One of the portfolios we looked at for class was by Jason Ceynar from Bonnie Sunstein's The Portfolio Standard (Heinemann, Portsmouth, NH: 2000). He wrote about always writing to impress a teacher or to sounds scholarly.

He wrote:
I can't even remember what the paper is about.
I didn't want to reread it because I was afraid
that I'd discover I was given the A unjustly.
This paper represents my tendency to value the
grade I get on a paper mroe than the content of
the paper and the learning that I achieve through
the process of writing it (227).

Wow, I totally understand what he is talking about! I think we have all started papers with a mindset of finishing, doing little revisions, and submitting asap. I know I have "held my breath" before submitting papers with last minute doubts as to its quality or purpose. But, I know that I have done this with nonacademic writing before, too.

I have kept a journal for years, ever since my first diary back in 3rd grade. Looking back at my journal entries, even from a year ago, can be surprising. Even though I don't share my journals with others, I sometimes think I sound like I'm trying to impress someone. Who would this unknown audience be? Am I concerned about writing my true feelings down because someone might find it and read it (like when I was younger and felt a need to lock my diary)? I guess age and time has made me more aware of how powerful writing can be. I can remember certain experiences better after reading journal entries--the words have meaning behind them that help me remember. Not everything I have written is gradeable, but different formats have definitely had their reasons for being important. I will continue to write, not only for scholarly purposes, but also for me so I can continue to remember where I came from.

Paradigms are shifting!

Like many of you, love fun words. To me, using them seems like some sort of small pleasure in my day. I don't really tell anyone I get a little giggle inside everytime I use one of these words, but they probably wouldn't understand like a group of writers would. I first discovered the word paradigm back in freshman year at Wartburg during a Humanities-type required class. This concept was hard for me to grasp then, but I have been a part of my own paradigm shifting ever since. Thomas Kuhn wasn't interested in slow changes (The Winds of Change, Maxine Hairston, 1982). Instead he was passionate about using theory and practicality together to create science solutions to ongoing problems. Ignoring there is a problem doesn't get the work done, leaving thinking static.

There are certain things I strongly believe about teaching, but I can never say it will stay the same forever--my philosophy has changed from "textbook" teaching in college to "real" teaching in a third grade classroom of my own. Kids don't want to hear about what I believe, they want to know how to use the manipulatives to make a quadrilateral or if spelling is really important on the assignment. As my philosophy of teaching paradigm continually shifts, I have to be careful not to simply throw out the old thoughts/methods as outdated. Instead, I have to reflect and research to keep my teaching current for the students in my classroom. Maybe my being an outsider by doing lots of read alouds and writing with students, instead of test prep, will help someone else consider their practices. There will always be new methods in teaching, but what is popular at the time isn't always best if it works against my beliefs about an aspect of teaching.

Closing thought: Hairston posed crucial questions
eternally plaguing writing teachers--
What is the basic flaw in the traditional paradigm for teaching writing? Why doesn't it work?
(and I would add) How do we change writing for students to make it more neccessary for them?

Building a community of writers!

I think that being able to share and help classmates with their writing is an amazing exercise in trust. No one wants to be considered a weirdo or "bad writer." After all of the time we spend writing our masterpieces, the next step seems to be one of sharing! One of the things I strongly believe is from my experiences teaching elementary kids. Kids, like adults, want an audience--it gives their writing more meaning and purpose. You are right that there has to be a high level of communication and trust between writers. When kids feel a part of a writing community, so many things can happen. I love reading kids' creative writing, either by themselves or in groups. You can really start to see the wheels turning and confidence building in their chest as they successfully create meaning together.